Trump Rises From The Dead For Glorious Easter Pitch In ‘SNL’ Cold Open

Johnson’s Trump left his tomb to compare himself to Jesus before noting how “weird” it would be if he started selling Bibles.

“Well, I’m selling Bibles,” said Johnson’s Trump as he pulled out his God Bless the USA Bible, his $60 edition of the holy book that he announced via Truth Social on Tuesday.

“Look at this beautiful Bible made from 100% Bible. Sounds like a joke and in many ways it is but it’s also very real.”

The faux former president said he isn’t selling his Bible for money but rather for the glory of God, for pandering and “mostly for money.”

He went on to explore pages of his reimagined version of the Bible that included an illustration of Trump floating down a river in a basket as well as a depiction of the former president in the Garden of Eden.

“Well, back to my beautiful Bible which also includes Constitution and Pledge of Allegiance and, I don’t know, maybe Miranda Rights,” he quipped.

Catch more of the “SNL” cold open below.

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