Mike Pence’s Condemnation of Trump Sways Nearly Two Voters Nationwide

WASHINGTON — Early reports show that as many as one vote could possibly change after Mike Pence announced Friday that he will not be endorsing Trump in the 2024 election, sources confirmed.

“I’m just a huge Mike Pence fan like everyone else,” said Simon Imonson, currently the only known voter considering Pence’s opinion. “I was thinking of voting for Trump, but I knew I couldn’t do that without Big Mike’s endorsement. But he also refused to endorse Biden, which puts me in a tough spot. Now I’m really on the fence about whether I should stay on the fence. But maybe I’m starting to lean towards leaning towards something. I’ll let you know who I’ll write in.”

Former candidate Mike Pence explained why he was hesitant to announce his non-endorsement of Trump.

“I had to contemplate it deeply, because I know the immense power my words hold as such an influential and beloved public figure,” said Pence while trying to forget the time that Trump’s supporters suggested he be hanged. “There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with being a former… Sorry, what was I again? Vice president. Right. Regardless, I thought long and hard and got a lot of extra security before telling the handful of people who care that I won’t endorse him.”

Political scientist Ellen Acosta explained that the power of Mike Pence’s endorsement is known colloquially as the “Pence Effect.”

“It’s very difficult to predict modern elections before we know who Mike Pence will endorse,” said Acosta. “Once he announces who he’s endorsing, the Pence Effect takes hold, and it could flip zero, one, or even two votes. Before his announcement, it’s completely impossible to know how those zero to two voters will vote. Now it’s all up in the air. We’re going to be watching these two gentlemen in Indiana very closely.”

New reports however suggest that Imonson was actually getting the former Vice President confused with comedian Mike Epps, who he found funny in the critically panned 2016 remake of “Uncle Buck.”

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